please individually write about these two posts. they’re classmates posts, and you need to state your perspective and opinion on them. if u agree or not. about 200 words each.
1) One thing I noticed about the student’s use of research is that the research was very easily connected to the thesis and topic sentences. The student avoided mental gymnastics in the analysis of her research because her evidence was on topic. For example the students thesis argues that many companies that brand themselves as ethical are actually not what they preach, and then her evidence/research says “Migrant Workers Live in Hell”. The reader can infer from this that companies that claim to be ethical still have unfair labor practices. The reader does not to think much about how the thesis relates to evidence because the student on topic. Staying on topic is an important skill is at helps people comprehend your work better. One should want readers work to be able to understand the point of your essay.
2) One thing I like about the students approach to argumentation is that she uses the words of the fashion company against themselves and in favor of her argument. For example she went to the Reformation website and shows how they argue that they are ethical and environmentally friendly business. Then the student used your her/his evidence/research against these claims. The comparison between the claims of the fashion company and student’s evidence shows us that the fashion companies claim was false. This proved the students thesis that “although Reformation promotes an ethical, sustainable, and green company image, they are taking part in unethical and unsustainable practices by partnering with a foreign manufacturer that, in truth, is far from ethical or environmentally sensitive”. The dismantling of the claims fashion company helped the student build a compelling case to show that the words of the fashion companies are vague and self-virtuous because they are not set in reality. Comparison between the claims and facts is a great way to show the truth.
1. What do you notice about the student’s selection, incorporation, and/or explanation of research that relates to her topic and thesis? What does it inspire you to want to research with respect to your own topic?
I like that the student states facts and is very clear on what she states. As far as being informative for example; stating facts in the first paragraph. When she writes “Reformation recognizes that harmful chemicals are used to manufacture clothing” yet towards the end of the introduction she mentions “Although Reformation promotes an ethical, sustainable, and green company image, they are taking part in unethical and unsustainable practices by partnering with a foreign manufacturer that, in truth, is far from ethical or environmentally sensitive.” Which I agree with. It’s like selling something and lying about it and where it’s coming from. Pretty much for promotion. I hope I’m explaining myself correctly with what I’m trying to prove.
The student also backs up her argument with examples and other resources from different companies and sites.
2. What, specifically,do you notice about the student’s approach to argumentation?In other words, what do you notice about how she approaches her argument that you would like to try out in your own essay? Reference a specific moment in which she does something interesting in order to persuade her audience.
A specific moment I found interesting is towards the end of page 3 going into 4. Where it starts,
“As evidence of continued pollution, Matthews reports that the water surrounding manufacturing communities continues to be polluted with chemicals, salts, and heavy metals making farmland unusable and locals sick. This should not be happening when companies claim to be sustainable and green. Reformation promotes the idea that their viscose fabric is a natural “eco-friendly fiber,” but they have yet to consider the problems associated with its production.” And so on. In my opinion she starts of strong and gets straight to the point. Saying well this website is promoting this but at the same time it’s stating something different. It’s like having a drink that says “sugar free” and then you read he nutrition facts and says “sugars 25g”.